Sacramento Parent Magazine

11:37am Arrive at the park. Yippee not that many kids!
11:38am Realize forgot to set leaving arrangements to avoid “disagreements” on when it’s time to go.
11:39am Talk to Buttercup and let him know, when it’s time to go, it’s time to go, there will be no tears or tantrums.
11:39am Buttercup says to you, “No crying, No problem!”
11:40am Did he just quote a debt consolidation commercial? Bad credit, no problem!
11:45am Oh look here comes a mom and son.
11:56am Uh, oh mom is smiling at you and giving you the look of I stay at home and need conversation so I am going to chat with you despite the fact you have no idea who I am and could care less that little Tommy has allergies to milk and wheat, is already potty trained, speaks 8 languages including translating Farsi for the U.N and can count to five hundred. In which then you will reply oh that’s great, you see the little boy over there running in circles until he falls down cross-eyed? That’s our gem, we are pretty sure he is going to like drugs.
11:57am Avoid eye contact and go decide to pick up Jim Morrison who is watching the world spin from the ground.
11:58am Go down the slide that always seems too fast and creates an amazing amount of static electricity.
12:12am Try not to think about all the germs being smeared about.
12:25am Really don’t like the sandbox, always think what if a cat came in here. HOW would you know it’s not a present left by the kitty?
12:35am Sit on the swing for a minute after doodle scampered off and realize it makes you carsick to go higher than 6 inches.
12:40am Start the warnings that it’s time to go, silently praying please let this go well. This plea is especially important because you might be getting graded by Tommy’s mom who invented the effortless change of state.
12:42am Administering tons of kisses because when told to leave, his majesty simply stated again, “No crying, no problem!”
12:44am Freak out when he puts his thumb in his mouth and scream, “Wait until we use the antibacterial foam!”
12:45am Take the long way home because even though he’s 3 now, he still might fall asleep in the car.

On Riley’s birthday we took him to Toys R Us to let him play and pick out a toy. There’s probably 5 thousand toys in there and what does he pick out? A vacuum cleaner. We tried to entice him with a firehouse, a gas pump, or the cool bulldozers that I think my husband wished came in adult sizes but he politely stated, “No thank you. I would like a vacuum cleaner.” He finally got fed up with us and turned to me with the saddest look on his face and tearfully said, “I just want a vacuum cleaner.” Fine, my husband told me, let’s just get him the vacuum.
This vacuum is actually his second one. We have no idea where the fascination of the Hoover came about but it’s gotten to the point were every time we go to Target we have to go by the vacuum cleaners so he can admire them. I feel like getting him a real one and getting some help around the house.

Riley has a huge hang-up with hot foods. All because one time, probably over a year ago, he burnt his mouth on something hot and has never trusted me since. So the other night at dinner, he was questioning the temperature of his pasta and after I told him 3 times it wasn’t hot, with a look of doubt, he looks me straight in the eye and says, “Now remember, be a good mom.” Excuse me? What the heck does that mean? I thought. Be a good mom who doesn’t lie to you and make up stories like how our society voted to make green the official color of go? Or how I told you the car can’t start unless you are in your car seat? I realize you proved me wrong several weeks later when you crawled out of it on the highway and scared the bejesus out of me when all of a sudden you were by my side gleefully announcing how much better you could see.

I think this might be where God came from. It was much easier for parents to say, “Where did the grass come from? Oh somebody named God made it, yeah huge guy named God. Had a son Jesus, he built everything. The elephants? Yep him too. Busy guy that God was.”

This might say a little too much about me, but I am currently in love with my crockpot.  It all started with reading this excellent/funny blog:  http://crockpot365.blogspot.com

Besides the economic value because you can buy inexpensive cuts of meat and slow cook them into tender submission.  And the health benefits, from making pea and bean soups as well as stewed veggies, there’s the easy factor:  and this is the reason I love it. 

If you don’t own one, buy one.  Even thrift stores sell them and they will let you plug them in to ensure they work.  Then, head to Safeway and buy bags of bean or pea soup for like $1.00 and begin your own in house slow food movement.

**I have so far also done short ribs and pulled pork (both with a bottle of bbq sauce) and they were so awesome my husband wished he had bought me flowers!

All this economic turmoil got me thinking about little ways we mamas (and papas) can pamper ourselves on the cheap.  Flying is out.  Driving is down.  Heck, even organic milk is $7.00 a gallon and that we have to buy.  So what can we do?  Here are three things I consider a total luxury:

Shower in the afternoon:  like most moms of babies I normally shower at night, once daddy is home and I can be guaranteed it will happen.  But every so often, when both my kids are napping I sneak away and take a nice, hot late afternoon shower.  I use all my scrubs and salts and sometimes light a candle.  It feels so decadent to do this when I know most of the world is out working and as an added bonus my “free” time in the evening is maximized once the kids are in bed.

Carve out reading time:  this is a hard one.  There is so much laundry piled up and I really should be exercising.  Maybe once a week I try to get to bed an hour earlier than usual, bring my cup of tea and I pick up a book.  Yes, sometimes 10 minutes in I am asleep, but those 10 minutes feel so good.

Wear pajamas:  One of the perks of being a stay home mom is I can dress any way I want.  Most days I do get the kids and myself finally dressed, but every once is a blue moon (like when everyone is sick) I don’t try that hard and we just stay in pajamas.  Sssshhh, don’t tell anyone.  This horrifies daddy when he comes home from work, but I consider it my right.  And I doubt this will harm them long-term. 

What small (inexpensive or free) things do you do? 

Cool breezes are starting to blow beckoning fall, fabulous fall.  I love it so much.  This got me to thinking about heartier dinners (and also easier ones to cook) and most importantly, things my kids will actually eat! I am sick of pasta, breakfast for dinner and quesadillas. 

Here’s what I plan on doing soon and if all goes well, just keep making well into winter:

Butternut squash:  bake, puree or cube and add to large pasta shells with ricotta, top pizza (and add bacon and sage) or make into soup.

Crock Pot:  Unearth from pantry storage and slow cook beef for stew and fajitas, bean soup, split pea soup and maybe ribs.

Casseroles:  Tuna noodle topped with potato chips, chicken and rice with soup and cheese and a creamy, meatless enchilada. 

They cannot reject them all, can they?

because I am tired.  Or, because I am losing patience with (insert name of any one of my relatives). Or, maybe, it’s because just now as I am typing this I heard the tiniest noise and turn around to see my 3 year old standing in the doorway saying she is not tired!  Oh, the irony. 

But, has anyone else noticed that weird contradicting thing other mom’s do when 1 or more of your children decide to descend into darkness in public, say at storytime?  Some moms go ahead and give you the stinky eye.  Do they even realize what they are doing?  Worse yet, have I done this in the past?  Have their own kids never melted down in an embarrassing, dramatic way?  Am I too sensitive?  Where is that childcare by the hour place again? 

Mommy needs a nap.