Someone should tell all medical personnel working at an office with a waiting room to either:
A. Make the appointment somewhat close to the time the child will be seen, perhaps judging in minutes, not hourly increments.
or
B. Hire a clown.
In reference to the bread he was served, “It’s hot, goddammit.”
5:30am Hear annoying beeping sound in the background.
5:52am Slam the snooze button again and roll out of bed.
6:42am Hear chattering of little cherub in his crib.
6:59am Cleaning cream cheese out of the carpet.
7:15am Fighting over toothbrush– Boy, what a grip on the toothbrush someone has. Interesting that the grip is not present when asked to hold sippy cup in the car, thus dropping the “spill proof” cup in the backseat which will then proceed to leak out all over the upholstery.
7:17am Give up and turn around to throw a load of laundry in that will be forgotten by the day’s end and have to be rewashed by the third day, after a mysterious smell settles in.
7:18am Hear flushing of the toilet. Turn around and see the toothbrush is missing. Cute face of cherub has look of surprise.
7:19am Decide not to tell Dad who will be in here cursing the toilet by the weekend.
7:20am Momentarily feel good that never use this toilet.
7:32am Starting to be late, rushing around, where is the lotion that husband would categorize as pricey?
7:37am Still looking for lotion– Why is there cat food in the microwave?
7:42am Wonder how dirty the litterbox really is… Can’t smell anything alarming…
7:45am Putting baby in car seat.
7:48am Back down in the house, changing dirty diaper.
8:00am Finally on the way to work. Have the distinct feeling that the diaper was left on the changing table.
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Riley’s August Bio
Age: 23 Months
Habits: Twirls hair (his or mom’s) and sucks thumb
Role Model: Calvin, Hobbes
Wishes He Had: Lizard (Fat chance after the spider incident)
Adorable Moment of the Month:Waking up at 5am, calling mom to his bedroom just to give her a hug. Would have been cuter if it wasn’t 5am (and repeated 3 times).
Shock Moment of the Month: Forcing his tiny body (not successfully) into the refrigerator. Luckily was caught in the act before doing bodily damage.
Funny Moment of the Month: 20 minutes after attempting the David Blaine stunt in the refrigerator, Dad comes to Mom and says he can’t find the lunch meat.
Worrisome Moment of the Month: Still can’t find the lunch meat.
You know you are the proud mother of a precious little boy when he runs to you, yelling, “Momma! Momma!” and you can see his tiny fingers grasping something tightly. As you hold out your hand in anticipation to see what your little jewel has brought you, you see his small chubby fingers slowly open. As he drops the gem he has brought so lovingly, just for you, your eye starts to see what he has brought. Before your mind can grasp what is happening, he has dropped his sought-after prize into your hand. You shriek as soon as it lands on your outreached palm, as it scrambles frantically up your arm as fast as its eight spindly legs can carry it. This is when you proceed to strip naked in your kitchen as your son stands there with a shocked grin on his face, his small hand still out. You are now undressed and burning the pancakes, but you have to laugh as you realize this is the first of many moments he is going to get you.